How I Work in Therapy
A Practical and Reflective Approach to Counselling
One of the most common questions people have before starting therapy is: “How do you work?”
It’s a fair question as therapy can mean very different things depending on the therapist, and if you’ve never worked with someone before, it can be hard to know what to expect.
My approach is integrative, which means I draw from different therapeutic models depending on what feels most useful for you, rather than applying the same method to every client.
People’s lives are complex, and what helps one person may not be what another person needs.
In practice, this means I may draw on CBT to look at thoughts, feelings, behaviours and coping strategies; Transactional Analysis to explore relationship patterns and different parts of the self; and person-centred therapy to support a relationship where you can feel heard and understood.
Building the Therapeutic Relationship First
At the heart of my work is the relationship between therapist and client.
Before any technique or intervention matters, therapy needs to feel like a space where you can speak openly, feel understood, and begin exploring things honestly, for every client, our work starts there.
Not because therapy is “just talking”, but because change often requires enough safety and trust to look at difficult things without feeling judged, rushed, or put under pressure.
Practical Support for What’s Happening Right Now
Where helpful, I use practical, CBT-informed approaches to help with present-day difficulties.
That might include looking at:
patterns in your thinking
emotional reactions that feel hard to manage
coping strategies that may no longer be helping
cycles of anxiety, stress, avoidance, or self-criticism
This kind of work can be useful if you are feeling overwhelmed, stuck in repetitive thought patterns, or wanting tools to help manage specific issues in daily life and for some clients, this is enough to create meaningful change.
For others, practical tools can help, but they are not always the whole story.
Looking Beneath the Surface
Many people come to therapy wanting help with anxiety, relationship difficulties, low self-esteem, emotional overwhelm, or patterns they keep repeating.
While practical tools can help you manage those experiences, deeper change often comes from understanding why those patterns exist in the first place, and that is where exploratory work becomes important.
Together, we may begin looking at:
how earlier life experiences shaped your beliefs about yourself
what you learned about relationships growing up
why certain situations trigger stronger reactions than others
how past experiences may still influence present-day behaviour
the roles you have learned to take on in relationships, and whether those roles still fit the life you want to live now
Often, the struggles people experience in adulthood make more sense when viewed in the context of their history.
Therapy That Is Reflective and Practical
In practice, therapy with me tends to involve both reflection and action.
We look at what is happening in your life right now, but we also explore the deeper roots of those patterns so that the work is not only focused on coping in the short term.
My aim is not simply to help you get through the week, although that can be an important part of therapy.
It is also to help you understand yourself more fully, so that the changes you make feel more lasting and meaningful.
What Sessions Might Feel Like
Some sessions may involve slowing things down and making sense of what has happened during the week.
Other sessions may involve looking at a specific situation, noticing the thoughts and feelings around it, and exploring where that response may have come from.
We might move between practical tools, emotional reflection, and deeper exploration depending on what feels most useful at that point in the work.
The pace can vary, sometimes therapy is about finding ways to manage what feels difficult right now. At other times, it is about understanding the longer-standing patterns that may be shaping how you relate to yourself, other people, and the world around you.
Therapy Is Collaborative
I do not believe therapy should be something done to you, I believe that it is a collaborative process.
Some sessions may feel more exploratory and reflective while others may be more practical and focused. Often, it shifts depending on what you need at that point in therapy.
The goal is to meet you where you are, and to work together to understand what change might look like for you.
Reflection Between Sessions
Therapy does not only happen in the sessions.
Often, some of the most valuable insights come in the space between sessions, when you begin noticing patterns, reactions, or thoughts in real time.
Because of that, I will often suggest journaling or reflective note-taking as a way to support the work we are doing together.
This is not about keeping a perfect diary or completing therapy homework “correctly.” It is simply a tool that can help you slow down, notice patterns, and bring more awareness to what is happening internally.
I may also occasionally offer handouts, exercises, or suggestions for things to think about between sessions, particularly if there is something practical we are working on.
None of this is mandatory.
Therapy with me is not school, and there is no judgment if something does not get done. In fact, if you do not journal, avoid an exercise, or struggle to engage with something between sessions, that can often become useful material for therapy in itself. We can explore what got in the way, what came up for you, and whether that reflects a wider pattern in your life.
Thinking About Starting Therapy?
If you’re looking for therapy that combines practical support with deeper self-understanding, this may be the kind of work I can help with.
If this way of working sounds like it may be a good fit, you are welcome to get in touch through my contact page to arrange an initial consultation.
