Some Thoughts Feel Heavy, You Don’t Have to Carry Them Alone
Have you ever noticed how some thoughts get heavier the longer you sit with them?
At first, they’re just there: something someone said, something you didn’t do, a memory that flashes up when you’re trying to fall asleep. But the more you think about it, the more it takes over and by the end of the day, it’s not just a passing thought anymore, instead, it’s a weight in your chest, a tension in your jaw, a story that’s started to feel true.
Some thoughts don’t hurt at first.
But then they stay.
They spiral.
And suddenly, they feel like part of who you are.
The truth is, it’s not always the thought itself that hurts us.
It’s how long we keep holding onto it.
Why Do We Hold On?
Sometimes we don’t even realise we’re doing it, a thought appears, and before we know it, we’re building a whole story around it. We replay conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, or criticise ourselves for not doing something differently.
In Transactional Analysis (TA), we often explore how these patterns link back to early roles or “scripts” we took on. Maybe you learned to be the one who fixes everything, or the one who stays quiet to keep the peace. So when something painful happens, your first instinct might be to hold onto it, analyse it, try to make sense of it all on your own.
However, holding on doesn’t always help. Sometimes it just hurts.
And sometimes we hold on because the thought links to something deeper, a wound that hasn’t had space to heal yet.
CBT and Learning When to Let Go
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helps with this as it can teach you to spot the thoughts that feel urgent or overwhelming, and to ask:
Is this helping me right now? Or is it keeping me stuck?
We’re not trying to ignore or dismiss your feelings, far from it, rather we are trying to create a bit of space.
Enough room for you to step back, take a breath… so you can decide if this thought is worth your energy right now.
You can learn how to notice those painful loops before they take over your day, and you can learn to gently put them down, even if just for a little while.
Building Strength Through Letting Go
In Positive Psychotherapy, we talk a lot about strengths like hope, resilience, humour, creativity. You don’t need to be “fixed”, as you already have what you need inside you, even if it’s been hidden for a long time.
Letting go isn’t weakness, it’s a skill.
It’s knowing when something’s too heavy to carry on your own.
It’s trusting that rest is allowed and that softening is strength too.
If You’re Carrying Something Now, Here’s What Might Start to Help
You don’t have to change everything at once, but if something’s been weighing on you lately, here are a few small, grounding things you could try, gentle ways to begin lightening the load:
• Name it
Sometimes just saying, “I’m carrying this,” can soften the grip it has on you. Write it down or say it out loud, naming it gives shape to what’s been swirling in your mind.
• Give it a container
If a thought keeps looping, try setting a timer. Give yourself 10 minutes to think about it, journal on it, or feel what you need to feel, then gently close that time. This isn’t about avoidance. It’s about making space for the rest of you too.
• Do something grounding
Notice your feet on the floor. Run your hands under cold water. Step outside and feel the air on your skin. These simple grounding moments can interrupt the spiral and bring you back to now.
(You might like this grounding article I wrote if you’re not sure where to start.)
• Ask yourself: “Would I speak to a friend this way?”
If the thought is self-critical, imagine how you’d respond to someone you care about. Often, we show more compassion outwardly than inwardly and that’s a habit we can slowly shift.
• Reach out
Whether it’s a friend, a partner, or a therapist, you don’t have to untangle overthinking or emotional overwhelm on your own.
If you’ve been holding something for a long time, maybe today’s the day you set it down.
Just for a moment. Just to see how that feels.
And if it feels like the right time, you’re welcome to book a free first session. Sometimes it helps just to talk.
This is what I do at Roles We Play Counselling, sit beside you while you find your way.
