When Everything Feels Heavy: How Therapy Can Help You Through Depression
Some days it feels like you're moving through thick fog, getting out of bed takes effort, even when you've had enough sleep, and even the things you used to enjoy don’t seem to matter anymore.
Maybe there’s a quiet, nagging voice saying you should be able to snap out of it, but you can’t, and that’s because depression isn’t just feeling sad, it can numb you, wear you down, and make life feel harder than it needs to be.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Depression is one of the most common reasons people come to therapy and the good news is, it is treatable.
What does depression actually feel like?
Everyone experiences it differently, for some, it’s a constant low mood, while for others, it comes in waves. You might feel tired all the time, find it hard to concentrate, or notice you're withdrawing from friends and family. Sometimes it shows up physically: headaches, aches and pains, changes in appetite or sleep.
Depression can make you feel stuck, like you're watching life happen around you, but you're not really in it.
How therapy can help
Therapy isn’t about fixing you, because you’re not broken.
It’s about making sense of what’s going on underneath the surface and finding your way forward.
At Roles We Play Counselling, I often use a mix of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), Transactional Analysis (TA), and Positive Psychotherapy. Here’s how each of these approaches can help:
1. Understanding your patterns with CBT
CBT can help you spot the unhelpful thought patterns that feed depression like “I’m a burden” or “Nothing ever changes.” Once you start noticing those thoughts, you can begin to challenge them and, over time, this helps reduce the weight of self-criticism and make space for more balanced thinking.
2. Making sense of inner voices with TA
In Transactional Analysis, we look at the different “ego states” or inner voices you might hear: the Critical Parent voice, the Adaptive Child voice that feels small and powerless, and the Adult part of you that can think clearly and calmly. TA helps you understand where those voices come from, and how to shift the dynamic so you're not constantly at war with yourself.
3. Reconnecting with joy through Positive Psychotherapy
When you're living with depression, it's easy to lose sight of what brings meaning, Positive Psychotherapy focuses on reconnecting with strengths and values, rather than just reducing symptoms. We might explore questions like:
When have you felt most like yourself?
What gives you a sense of purpose?
What small moments of meaning or connection can you build into your day?
Sometimes it’s about rediscovering things you once enjoyed, at other times, it’s about noticing the tiniest sparks of joy, even if they feel far away right now. This approach can help shift your focus from just surviving to starting to live again, even in small steps.
4. Having a space where you’re really heard
Sometimes, the biggest relief is just being able to talk without feeling judged or rushed. Therapy holds all of it, the numbness, the guilt, the fear of being too much or not enough, and reminds you that you are worthy of care just as you are.
5. Making changes at your own pace
There’s no pressure to dive into the deep end, therapy meets you where you are. Some weeks, just turning up is enough, with time, we can build a plan that’s realistic for you, whether that’s managing everyday tasks, dealing with work stress, or slowly reconnecting with others.
You don’t have to go through this alone
Depression makes everything feel harder, including asking for help, but if something in you is saying maybe it’s time, that’s worth listening to. Therapy can be a space where things start to shift, gently and gradually.
If you're curious about how therapy might help you, here’s what to expect from your first session, or if you're not sure whether online or in-person sessions would suit you best, I’ve written about that too.
If you’re in crisis or feeling unsafe, please reach out for immediate support. Therapy can be part of your journey, but it’s okay to need other support too.
