Healing Through Inner Child Work and Transactional Analysis
Most of us carry parts of ourselves from childhood into adulthood, some of these parts are joyful and playful, while others hold fear, shame, or unmet needs. Inner child work is about connecting with these younger aspects of ourselves so we can understand them, care for them, and bring more compassion into our lives today.
At Roles We Play Counselling in Beckenham, I often draw on Transactional Analysis (TA) alongside inner child work. TA helps us see how our past shapes the way we think, feel, and relate to others now. Together, these approaches can be powerful tools for healing old wounds and creating healthier patterns.
What do we mean by the "inner child"?
The inner child is a way of describing the younger parts of ourselves that still carry emotions and experiences from the past.
For example:
A part of you may feel playful, imaginative, and creative, just as you once did in childhood.
Another part may feel small, scared, or unheard, especially if your needs weren’t fully met when you were younger.
Sometimes, the inner child still holds onto old messages such as “I’m not good enough” or “I have to be perfect to be loved.”
By recognising and listening to these parts, you can begin to meet their needs in ways that weren’t possible before.
How TA connects with inner child work
In Transactional Analysis, we talk about three main ego states:
Parent: the voices, rules, and attitudes we’ve absorbed from authority figures.
Adult: our rational, present-day self.
Child: the feelings, needs, and patterns we carry from childhood.
When we work with the inner child, we are engaging with the Child ego state. TA breaks this down further:
Free Child: spontaneous, playful, and creative.
Adapted Child: shaped by rules, expectations, or pressure to fit in.
For instance, if you grew up in a home where emotions weren’t safe to express, your Adapted Child may have learned to stay quiet and that part of you was doing its best to keep you safe at the time. In therapy, we can help you reconnect with your Free Child, bringing back spontaneity and joy, while also nurturing the Adapted Child, honouring its protective role.
We may also strengthen your Nurturing Parent, the part of you that can offer comfort, care, and reassurance to your younger self.
Why this work matters
Unmet childhood needs don’t simply disappear, instead, they often resurface in adult life as:
Anxiety or depression
Relationship difficulties
Perfectionism or people-pleasing
Fear of abandonment or rejection
Through inner child work and TA, you can:
Understand where these patterns come from
Gently soothe the younger parts of you that feel hurt or neglected, with support and pacing that feels safe
Strengthen your Adult self so you can respond differently today
Reclaim joy, play, and creativity that may have been buried
What therapy might look like
In practice, inner child work with TA may involve:
Exploring life scripts: the unconscious story you created in childhood about yourself and the world, and how it still plays out today.
Dialogues with your inner child: through journaling, visualisation, or guided reflection.
Adult support: helping your present-day Adult self take care of the child part, rather than letting old critical voices run the show.
New choices: instead of repeating old patterns, you can learn to respond in ways that feel more nurturing and aligned with your values today.
FAQs
Is inner child work the same as Transactional Analysis?
Not exactly. Inner child work focuses on connecting with your younger parts, while TA offers a structured model (Parent, Adult, Child) to understand them. They complement each other really well and I work with clients a lot in this way.How long does inner child therapy take?
Every person’s journey is different. Some clients find insight and relief in a few sessions, while others choose to explore this work more deeply over time.Can inner child work help with anxiety or relationships?
Yes, many people notice old childhood patterns showing up in anxiety, self-esteem struggles, or relationship challenges. Inner child work helps you understand and change these patterns.
Final thoughts
Working with the inner child can be slow and, at times, challenging, but it’s also deeply rewarding. By acknowledging these younger parts of yourself with compassion, you can begin to shift long-held patterns and create a life that feels more grounded, connected, and free.
If this resonates, I offer a safe, supportive space at Roles We Play Counselling. Whether you’re drawn to inner child work, curious about Transactional Analysis, or simply looking to understand yourself better, you’re welcome to reach out.
